Dear diary… A day in the life of someone experiencing incontinence
BIO: Since giving birth to her four children, Maria has experienced daily urinary leakage (incontinence) that requires the use of pads or absorbent underpants. Additionally, she has ongoing pelvic pain that continues to affect her daily life...
Name: Maria
Family: Husband and four children aged 14, 12, 9, and 7
Occupation: Early childhood teacher
Condition: Pelvic pain and urinary leakage
Current treatment: Pelvic floor exercises and lifestyle changes
Up early...
My average day is quite busy, balancing work, family, and personal time. Mornings start early, getting my children ready for school and preparing for my day at work. My job involves a lot of movement—engaging with preschoolers, setting up activities, and managing paperwork. I have been in the fiel
d for almost eight years, my day at work includes planning and facilitating engaging learning experiences for young children, observing their development, and supporting their growth in a nurturing environment.
The more physically demanding parts of my day affect my pelvic pain and bladder leakage the most. This can be activities such as bending down to interact with children, lifting materials, or even standing for long periods. It also makes simple things, like rushing to the bathroom between tasks, more stressful. My leakage is triggered by coughing, laughing, or sneezing. The pressure from these actions makes it hard to control my bladder and usually results in urinary leakage. It’s frustrating and makes me more self-conscious in everyday situations.
Winding down...
Before having kids, I enjoyed activities like travelling, reading for long periods, and going out with friends without having to worry about time or responsibilities. Now, with my busy schedule and the demands of family life, it’s harder to find time for these things. Sometimhttps://www.continence.org.au/incontinence/management/continence-productses, even simple activities like taking a quiet walk or enjoying a meal out can be challenging with the kids’ schedules and needs. I do miss those moments of freedom, but I enjoy being with my family, even if it means adjusting my priorities. By the end of the day, discomfort from my pelvic pain makes it harder to relax and unwind.
Healthcare...
I’m currently receiving treatment for both bladder control and pelvic pain. I started by visiting my GP, who referred me to a continence nurse. The nurse has been helping me with exercises to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles and manage my symptoms. Additionally, I’ve been learning about lifestyle changes that can help, like maintaining a healthy weight and avoiding certain triggers.
“The treatment has been a gradual process, and while it’s helping, I still have a long way to go."
Products...
For bladder leakage, I use disposable pads for convenience and comfort. I prefer a well-known brand like Tena or Poise, as they offer good absorbency and reliability. While I know reusable options exist, I find disposable pads more practical for my busy lifestyle, especially given how frequently I need to change them. I feel they provide the best protection throughout my day, and the ease of use makes them my go-to choice.
Lifestyle...
The problems with my bladder and pelvic pain impact my life in several ways. Financially, it can be costly, as I need to purchase pads regularly and seek ongoing treatment, which adds up over time. Socially, I often feel self-conscious, especially in group settings or when I need to laugh or cough, worrying about leakage. At work, I have to plan bathroom breaks carefully and sometimes limit physical activities with the children. It also affects my family life because I can’t always engage in spontaneous activities or outings, as I need to be mindful of my condition. Overall, it adds an extra layer of stress and requires careful management to balance everything.
Advice to others...
My advice to others suffering from pelvic pain or leakage would be to not ignore the issue and seek help as soon as possible. It’s important to talk to a healthcare professional who can guide you through treatment options, whether it’s seeing a GP, a continence nurse, a pelvic health physio, or a specialist. Working on the strength and coordination of your pelvic floor muscles through exercises can make a big difference. I’d also recommend finding products that work for you, whether they’re pads, liners, or other solutions, and not feeling embarrassed to use them. Above all, take care of your mental health—it’s okay to ask for support from friends, family, and support groups. You’re not alone in this.
While it might feel isolating at times, reaching out for support and discussing your experiences can help you feel more empowered. I’ve learned that taking small steps toward managing the condition, whether through treatment, lifestyle changes, or simply being kind to myself, makes a difference. It’s an ongoing journey, but with the right resources and support, it’s manageable.
“Living with pelvic pain and bladder leakage can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t define you.”
If you need help with any of the issues mentioned in this article, book a time for a nurse continence specialist to call you, or call the National Continence Helpline 1800 33 00 66 (8am-8pm AEST Mon-Fri).