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Feeling close and connected is important for wellbeing. Sexuality is a natural part of life, shaped by health, relationships and experience.
Bladder or bowel control changes can affect confidence and intimacy, but with the right support, people can feel confident, cared for, connected and intimate.
The impact of incontinence on sexuality
Concerns about leakage, odour (smell) or continence products can impact how people feel about themselves and their relationships. If a partner is involved in care, it may also affect intimacy. Open, respectful conversations and professional support can help couples work through these concerns together.
Tips to make intimacy more comfortable
- talk openly with your partner about your needs and concerns
- empty your bladder or bowel before intimacy
- use protective bedding or towels to prepare your space – there are comfortable options that don’t feel like plastic
- try side-lying positions to reduce bladder spasms
- prevent and treat urinary tract infections (UTIs) to reduce odour (smell)
- talk to your pelvic health physiotherapist or doctor about managing pain, spasms or sensitivity
- talk to your doctor or pharmacist about medicines you take that may affect intimacy
- talk to your nurse continence specialist, pelvic health physiotherapist, psychologist or doctor for support with intimacy or relationship concerns
- seek or ask for a referral to a sextherapist. This is a specialised counsellor who has extensive training in helping people improve their intimate life. To find more resources and to look for therapists, go to:
- Sex and sexual health on the Jean Hailes website
- the Healthy Male website
- our directory of service providers: Find a service provider.
Frequently asked questions
Empty your bladder beforehand and prepare your space with protective bedding and towels. Your continence health professional can help with strategies.
Some people remove catheters before intimacy while others reposition them.
- Men* may want to tape the catheter to the side of the penis and use a condom with lubricant
- Women* may want to tape it to the thigh.
What works best will depend on your needs and preferences. Your nurse continence specialist, pelvic health physiotherapist, GP (doctor) or sextherapist can help you explore options that support your comfort and confidence.
* References to ‘women’ or ‘girls’, or ‘men’ or ‘boys’ include all people with similar health needs – those assigned female or male at birth and anyone who identifies as a woman or man, regardless of sex at birth.
If your partner is healthy, there’s no increased risk of infection from the bacteria associated with a urinary catheter.
If you’re not sure, simple steps such as washing after intimacy, passing urine (wee) and drinking plenty of fluids can help both partners feel comfortable and cared for.
Catheters don’t usually affect sexual function directly. Worry or health issues may play a role. A GP (doctor) or urologist (a doctor who specialises in urinary tract and reproductive issues) can help you understand what’s happening and explore options.
Urine (wee) doesn’t usually smell much unless there is an infection or it’s very concentrated (strong). Staying well hydrated (drinking plenty of water) will keep the urine (wee) from smelling.
Some infections can cause odour (smell), but these can usually be treated. Talk to your GP (doctor) if you have symptoms of a urinary tract infection such as:
- a stinging or burning feeling when passing urine (wee)
- urine (wee) that smells strong or looks cloudy
- needing to pass urine (wee) more often than usual
- waking up at night to go to the toilet.
If you’re worried about how your equipment looks or feels, there are ways to manage it that can help you feel more comfortable. Talk to your nurse continence specialist or GP (doctor) for advice. Some people may be able to:
- cover the drainage bag or move it out of the way
- use a catheter valve to seal the catheter temporarily and remove the leg bag.
Open, respectful conversations and professional support can help people navigate sex and intimacy with confidence.
Whether it’s learning new ways to connect, accessing continence care or simply feeling heard, with the right support people can continue to enjoy meaningful relationships, no matter their continence journey.
This content has been reviewed by subject matter experts in line with Continence Health Australia’s established process. Read about our clinical content review protocol.