How to start a new toilet routine

Learning to use the toilet is a big change for your child. It’s a shift from:

• lying down for nappy changes → sitting up on a potty or toilet
• you doing everything → your child helping with the routine
• wearing nappies → wearing underpants
• being fully dependent → starting to do things on their own.

This can be an exciting time as you are supporting your child in learning a new skill and gaining independence. It’s also important to introduce the idea gently and positively.

Ways to introduce toilet learning

These tips can help you start the change.

• Talk about wee and poo during nappy changes.
• Use positive language like “Your body is learning to let go of wee and poo – it’s part of having a healthy body.”
• Avoid saying things like “stinky”, “yucky” or “messy”. Instead say, “You’ve done a wee or poo! Let’s change your nappy so you can stay clean and dry.”
• Let your child help pull pants down or up and wash hands after nappy changes.
• If you’re comfortable, let your child watch family members use the toilet. Talk about your own toileting and body sensations. For example, “I need to do wee. I am going to sit on the toilet and let my wee go.”
• Use dolls or teddies with a toy potty to play and learn.
• Read children’s books about using the toilet or how the body works.

Be patient and encouraging

Toilet learning takes time. Go slowly, be supportive and celebrate small steps. Your calm and positive attitude will help your child feel confident and ready.

Daily routines that help with toilet learning

1. Start with simple, consistent steps

Creating a regular routine helps your child learn new skills. You can start with small changes such as:

• do nappy changes in the bathroom and include a short sit on the potty or toilet
• let your child sit on the potty or toilet while the bath water is running
• in the morning, take your child to the bathroom to remove their night nappy. Before they get dressed, give them the opportunity to sit on the potty or toilet.

Try to build these routines into natural moments during the day, such as:

• when your child wakes up
• soon after they have eaten meals or snacks
• at bath time
• before settling down for bed
• before leaving the house
• before or after long activities

Avoid interrupting fun activities – your child may resist if they’re pulled away from play.

2. Slowly increase toilet times

Once your child is comfortable, you can slowly increase how often they sit on the potty or toilet.
Good times to try are:

• after waking from a nap
• soon after meals or a big drink.

You can use the Toilet record chart for 1 week to track:

• when your child does a wee or poo each day
• how long after a drink or meal they do a wee or poo
• if they show signs of a ‘need to go’ like wriggling, crossing legs or hiding.

This record chart will help you understand your child’s natural patterns and plan toilet times.

3. Watch for your child’s signs of a ‘need to go’

At first, you’ll need to prompt your child to sit on the toilet at regular times. As they learn, they’ll start showing signs of a ‘need to go’.

Look for:

• your child saying “I need to do a wee/poo” or “I need the toilet”
• wriggling, pacing, pulling at pants or passing wind
• going to a quiet spot or hiding
• standing or sitting still with a focused look.

When you see these signs, gently say:

“I can see your body needs to do a wee/poo – let’s go to the toilet!” or “I can see you wriggling – I wonder if you need to do a wee?”

You can also talk about your ‘need to go’ body signals and model your own healthy toilet time behaviour. You might say: “My tummy is feeling full, I might need to go to the toilet.”

Use visual cues to help

Many children are helped by pictures or visual reminders. You can use a what works best, such as the examples below. Our Step-by-step picture guide to toileting skills has clear, manageable steps you can print off and use with your child.

You can also use children’s storybooks or animations that explain how the body works or what toilet time looks like.

If your child has trouble with language, a paediatric speech pathologist can help you find the best teaching tools. To find a paediatric speech pathologist:

• contact our National Continence Helpline for free and confidential information and referrals from a nurse continence specialist
• use Find a service provider to look for a pathologist near you.

Praise and encourage to help your child learn

Children learn best when they feel supported and encouraged. Positive words and actions help build their confidence and make them want to keep trying.

Instead of focusing on mistakes, notice what your child is doing well. Avoid negative comments which disapproves or shames – they can make your child feel scared or unwilling to try.

How to give positive feedback

Use simple praise during toilet time, such as:

“Well done”
“You did a wee in the toilet!”
“You remembered to pull up your pants!”
“You did a poo all by yourself!”
“You went to the toilet without help!”

You can also show encouragement with:

• smiles
• hugs
• clapping
• high fives
• thumbs up.

What about rewards?

Giving toys or treats isn’t always helpful at the start, when your child doesn’t yet understand how to do what’s expected. Your child may then feel frustrated or give up.

If you do use rewards:

• keep them small and easy to give immediately
• only use them for clear, achievable goals like:
  • sitting on the toilet
  • washing hands
  • flushing the toilet
  • doing a wee or poo in the toilet.

Avoid rewards for skills your child can’t do yet.

Try ‘Time-in’ instead of rewards

Spending a few minutes doing something fun together after toilet time can be a great way to show encouragement.

Fun ideas include:

• reading a story
• drawing together
• dancing to music
• blowing bubbles
• piggy-back rides
• playing chasey.

Over time, your child won’t need rewards or praise as often. The goal is for them to feel proud and comfortable using the toilet on their own.

Work together with others who care for your child

Try to use the same toilet teaching routine everywhere – at home, grandparent’s place, childcare, preschool or school. It will help your child learn faster.

Share what’s working with other carers and educators. Talk about:

• signs your child is ready to start toilet learning
• any bladder or bowel health concerns
• what changes are needed in the toilet space such as equipment, lighting, noise
• best toilet times to prompt your child
• how your child might communicate that they ‘need to go’
• moving from nappies to underpants
• how to handle wetting or soiling accidents in a positive way
• your child’s progress and what’s the next learning step
• specific goals for your child’s next stage of learning. Examples may include:
  • initially sitting happily on the toilet for a few minutes with an adult close by 3 to 4 times a day. Slowly increase the sitting times to every 2 hours for 2 to 3 minutes
  • helping with pulling pants down and up with initial adult help
  • doing a regular poo in the toilet each day
  • asking for the toilet when the bladder feels full.