Help your child sit comfortably on the toilet

The way your child sits on the potty or toilet can help them feel safe and relaxed. This also relaxes the pelvic floor muscles (muscles that help with bladder and bowel control) and makes passing urine (wee) or faeces (poo) easier.

Ways to make your child comfortable

Here’s what helps:

• long breath out: encourage slow breathing to help your child relax.
• bottom back: use a smaller toilet seat or insert seat so your child can sit comfortably
• feet flat: use a sturdy step stool. Think about the height of the stool so your child’s feet are flat and knees are slightly higher than hips
• tummy soft: your child should be relaxed sitting on the toilet, without needing to hold on

For boys*

Start toilet learning with sitting down for both wee and poo. Standing for wee can come later once they’re confident.

When your child begins standing to wee, encourage them to pull their clothing down at the front and aim their wee into the toilet bowl while holding their penis gently and relaxed. This helps avoid any pinching and supports the bladder to fully empty.

*References to ‘boys’ or ‘girls’ include anyone with similar health needs, regardless of sex at birth or gender identity. Read our Gender inclusivity statement.

Potty or toilet? What works best for your child?

Very young children often feel safer with a potty that’s low to the ground and easy to sit on.

If you’ve chosen a potty, look for a potty with back and arm support that’s sturdy and safe.

Keep the potty in the bathroom so your child can learn hygiene habits like washing hands as part of the routine.

Moving from potty to toilet

At some point, your child will need to switch from using a potty to using the toilet.

Using a toilet insert seat and stable step stool will help your child feel comfortable and safe on the big toilet.

This could include a toilet step with an attached ladder or a separate insert seat and stable stool.

If your child finds change hard, it might be best to start with the toilet rather than a potty to keep the routine consistent.

Additional help for some children

Some children may need different equipment to help them use the toilet safely and independently.

If you’re unsure what’s best for your child, talk to a paediatric physiotherapist or occupational therapist for advice.

Use our Australia-wide directories to find people and products to help you:

Find a service provider – a national directory of 900 physiotherapists, occupational therapists, medical and nursing specialists and more.

Find a product provider – suppliers and manufacturers of products including bed protection, pants and pads and adaptive clothing.

Make the toilet area fun and comfortable

Most bathrooms aren’t very exciting for young children. Making the space fun and welcoming can help your child feel happy and relaxed when learning to use the toilet.

Ideas to make it more engaging:

• put up wall charts, posters or pictures your child likes
• if your child won’t sit on the toilet or potty then create a Toilet Time Bag or basket with 3 or 4 small items to keep near the toilet. You can use these to help your child stay calm and relaxed while sitting. You can swap them regularly to keep things interesting.

Ideas for a Toilet Time Bag

• rhymes, songs or counting games.
• storybooks, photo books or visual cards
• simple drawing activities
• fidget toys or massage cream

Try to avoid using screens or technology during toilet time as they can be distracting and hard to stop using later.

The goal is to make the toilet space calm, inviting and enjoyable so your child wants to go in and sit for a few minutes as a first learning step.

Note: Some children might be sensitive to the bathroom area

Your child might feel uncomfortable or scared because of certain things in the bathroom.

Watch for reactions to:

• sounds: loud toilet flushes, fans or hand dryers
• lights: very bright or very dark rooms
• textures: toilet paper, splashes, hard toilet seats
• smells: cleaning products, sprays, perfumes
• movement: climbing onto a high toilet or feeling off-balance.

If your child seems upset, remove or reduce these things to make the space feel safe and calm.

Emotional sensitivities matter too

Children are generally not afraid of the toilet but some may feel worried or scared about:

• letting go of wee or poo into the toilet
• past pain from a bladder or bowel issue
• cleanliness in a bathroom
• using public toilets where others might hear them
• a previous scary experience in the bathroom.

Be a detective – think about what might be bothering your child and how to make the space feel safe and calm.

If you’re unsure, talk to a paediatric occupational therapist or psychologist for advice. You can find contacts near you in Find a service provider directory.